Mom life is A-Okay, although I am astonished by the relentless (thanks for that word, Anne, it is perfect) pace of life. However busy I was at the busiest time of my life prior to Severen, it is nothing compared to the way things are now. Even after six months of practice, I am still in denial about what is and is not possible given my new time and energy constraints. Here are some examples:
Ideal: Make dinner every night
Reality: Make dinner four nights a week, eat leftovers and "fend for yourself" (i.e. eat cheese, raspberries and chocolate covered almonds) the other nights
Ideal: Eat 5 pieces of fruit and 4 vegetables a day.
Reality: Eat 2 pieces of fruit a day. Also, prunes count as fruit in my book. And some green beans with dinner.
Ideal: Talk to my closest friends at least once a month.
Reality: I try to talk to my mom and my mother-in-law on the phone once a week. They are the Grandmas so they are at the top of the list. For everybody else, all I can say is thank god for texting and Facebook.
Ideal: Have a tea party with porcelain service ware and tiny sandwiches every day at 3 PM.
Reality: OK, that is a dream. I've never done it. But that doesn't stop me from thinking about it.
Ideal: Do yoga 4X a week
Reality: Do 10 minutes of yoga here and there as I can. And only the standing poses because I fall asleep if more than 1/3 of my body touches the mat.
Ideal: Photograph all the important moments in Severen's life, which occur all the time.
Reality: Try to take a few photos every other day or so.
Ideal: Blog 5 days a week and list new items in the shop every day.
Reality: Ha ha ha ha.
Ideal: Shave my legs, paint my toenails and just generally keep things ladylike around here.
Reality: Nevermind. No really, nevermind. Just forget I said anything. And don't look at my legs.
Here's what I've come to realize: Something is better than nothing these days. "Halfway" is the new "all the way" for me. This represents a major shift in my thinking because, pre-Severen, leaving things unfinished was not OK. But now, I work as hard as I can (there is no such thing as procrastination anymore, except when it comes to laundry) and I still only make a bit of progress. Does that mean I am failing? I don't think so. Nope, in fact I think that doing things halfway is a goddam amazing accomplishment these days. If you are a parent out there making it halfway, I heartily congratulate you. You are not coming up short. You are doing an excellent job. I wish I could buy you ice cream I am so proud of you. Keep it up.
9 comments:
you have the best perspective, duff. cheers.
you're the best, duff. when can i buy *you* some ice cream?
also, give the tea parties a little time. that dream of yours perhaps explains why i had a friend whose mother would host tea parties on china and serve hostess ding dongs to us at the wee age of 5.
AMEN to that!!!
Juggling a baby and working from home isn't what I thought it would be.
Kai is 7 months and now that he is crawling and about to start walking, if I can get at least half of what I projected that day done, I'm a happy gal.
Keep up the good work momma!
Cheers :)
-Vanessa
- Yes, yes, and yes.
- Morning, still-in-our-jammies time is my favorite!
- You make dinner 4 nights a week? You go girl!
- It just gets better and better. I'm finding 9 months to be a super delightful age.
Thanks!
What a handsome, perfect little guy! Having kids you learn to be a lot more flexible but that's half the fun.
He is SO cute!!!! Happy half birthday, S!
Also, don't feel at all bad. We are 18 months in and things are only marginally better on getting anything done. And, where are your bangs? Or, like me, did you realize that they're a whole lot of work. My bangs went bye-bye super fast when I realized I could never possibly use a blow-dryer daily let alone take a shower everyday!
Looks to me like you're doing a great job! He's a beautiful wee one :)
Cute blonde duo. :) Kudos to you for adjusting your expectations and self-congratulation according to a very new lifestyle (revolving around a new life!) — this is crucial for everyone, especially new mamas. Hugs all around. xoxoxo
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