A forest box

   

A couple days ago, Mr. Jean Jean put on his slippers at 6:30 AM and announced that he was going to make Severen a forest box. I thought that sounded pretty awesome. So I sipped my coffee and waited to see what would happen next. Ten minutes later, we were on the porch playing and having a great time. The easiest things are often the best, for kids and grown ups alike eh? Severen loves this "toy" right now because he is obsessed with his little animal figurines. He carries them around, brings them to me and tells me that they need breakfast, takes them to the park to play, gives them baths at the sink, etc. He really tries to take care of them. And they take care of him, too. The other day he got a bump on his head and he had the tiny raccoon "kiss" it and then he said, "Mr. Raccoon made it feel alllll better." The box is also nice because we can change it up, bringing in leaves and sticks that we collect on wagon rides for example. Such fun.

Flying with a toddler

As most of you know, my family recently returned from two weeks in Morocco. Although we have traveled with Severen before (I have flown solo with him a few times, too) this was the biggest trip for us. I thought I'd share with you what I packed for him on the plane, as well as what I wish I had packed.

Severen did a great job, mostly because my husband and I performed hour after hour of our most dazzling parenting stand-up comedy/entertainment routine to date. Especially on the flight home from Paris to Detroit, when Severen looked at me with sad toddler eyes 30 minutes into the 9 hour vol and whimpered, "All done, Mama." I think we both aged a year on that particular flight. But honestly, it was pretty much what I expected it to be.

Liked best . . . 

Take a special bag just for the kiddo. Good move. Although the little backpack was too heavy for him to carry very long, it was helpful to have all of his diversions in one place rather than mixed in with my stuff. Things get so chaotic on those long flights with all the taking out, putting back, taking out. "Where are the raisins, honey?" "I think I saw them in the bag with your contacts next to the tiny raccoon. But that was a while ago." (GOD HELP US). I kept his toiletries, jammies, etc. in a different spot, btw.

Stickers, stickers, stickers. When there is nothing else to do, put something sticky on your face. We took Band-Aids, Post-It Notes, and car stickers. We stuck these all over the place in our aisle. The Band-Aids were extra awesome because he loved to open them. Bonus: It was easy to clean everything up when we landed. No harm, no foul.

Little toys for a little space. The small animals and cars we brought along were way more popular with Severen than I anticipated. He loved it when we ran the cars all over the seat backs, made them leap over armrests, etc. It was like a little racing course. And the animals could have "snacks" on the tray tables, play hide and seek, walk with us around the cabin, etc. They could even make tracks in the Play-Do!

Great flight attendants. I nursed Severen a lot on our flights - all six of them. I asked for lots and lots of water for him and me, in addition to what was served. Oftentimes, instead of a little cup I was given a whole bottle of water (score!) We also got extra bananas and bread. We even got a whispered invitation to stretch out in a secret, empty row for a little while.

Next time . . .

Take an ipad. Some good friends of ours gave us this advice and we just didn't get it done. If we take a long trip like this again, I would love to have one with some fun apps for him. There were seat-back TVs on the Trans-At flight, and we had toddler headphones at the ready,  but Severen wasn't interested. He is a little too young to be excited about unlimited TV access. He did love the remote, though!

I'll take bigger beads for the threading activity. Severen tried hard to work with them, but most of the time they just slipped away from him. I would like to make an official apology here to the person who had to clean up tiny pony beads from our seats and aisle. I tried to keep that situation under control, really I did!

Bring more snacks from home. I brought tomatoes, blueberries, dried fruits, crackers, etc. on the way there. But it still wasn't enough. There were a few times when I just really, really needed to give Severen something to munch on and I didn't have anything. Fail. I also learned the hard way that if you don't request an in-flight kids meal (Severen just had regular meals), your child won't get served first. Because we were near the back of the plane, we waited over an hour while the rest of the cabin got dinner en route to Paris with a very tired, very hungry boy. I finally got up and fetched his meal. Duh. I could have done that right away and averted an hour of fussiness.

That's what I can remember. Have you traveled with a small, mobile person before? I'd love to hear your "Liked Best / Next Time" comments below!

Miriam and Fred, 1937

My Aunt gave me this original photograph of my grandparents earlier this spring after my grandma's memorial service. I was nearly speechless. It was snapped around 1937, possibly in Chicago. It looks like summertime which means my grandparents - Miriam and Fred - had only been married for about six months. My grandma is twenty-two in this photo, the same age as Edith Piaf across the ocean (who had just been "discovered" and was starting to record music). It is difficult to imagine the world that they were walking around in at that time. The country was segregated. Women had been voting for less than twenty-years. The Great Depression was just coming to an end and World War II was looming, although they didn't know that. The Golden Gate Bridge had just opened for traffic in May. Amelia Earhart was about to disappear. And they were just out for a walk, a young couple with no kids (yet!) stopping for a photo. What did they imagine their life would be like together? What were they worried about? What were they looking forward to?

My life in birds

Last night I ordered these three prints from Dutch Door Press. I plan to frame them and hang them together, maybe in our bedroom. They show the state bird and flower of our home states (Iowa, Minnesota), the state where we met and went to college (Minnesota), and the place where we've made our home for the last decade, built our marriage, and started a family (Michigan). I've spent my whole life - not counting 1 1/2 years spread across California, Washington D.C. and Morocco - in these three places. And something tells me I will spend the remainder in one of these states, too. Am I crying as I type this? Maybe a little bit.

Gone but not forgotten

Pre-college photo, possibly high school graduation ca. 1935

Engagement or wedding photo, ca. 1937

Admiring my dad, summer of 1943

Dinner in Kansas City, ca. 1984

During one of my visits, 2010

Meeting Severen for the first time, October 2012

Last weekend we attended the memorial service for my "Grandma Duffy," my paternal grandmother. She passed away right before Christmas. She is the only grandparent of mine who lived into my adulthood and I am so thankful for that. She was, like so many women from her generation, a tough goddam cookie. She was born in 1915 and trained as a musician. She worked full-time as a cellist and raised a family of three with my grandfather. When he passed away she found new love and married again at the age of 73. Again a widow at 78, she met and married a third time. She outlived all her husbands. I find it so inspiring that she found new reasons to love and be joyful in the different seasons of her life. My family joked that she could never be alone long before getting snatched up by someone else. She was just too good of a woman. And it is really true. She was so lovely, so elegant, so frank, so quick to laugh.

The majority of the service was made up of short speeches from family and friends. All of her grandchildren (five of us) spoke as did my mom, uncle and a few other people. Here's what I said about her:

As a girl, I was really in awe of Grandma Duffy. She wasn’t like other grandmas. She traveled the world. She was a musician. She made chicken with wine and served leafy salads on fancy side plates. She wore pretty pajamas to bed and her closet smelled nice. She went skydiving. She had lots of interesting friends. She was elegant and worldly and I was totally enchanted with her.


Grandma was also spunky. I have Grandma’s copy of her Junior yearbook from Drury (college). It is easy to see from the messages from her classmates that she had a good sense of humor. One was addressed to, “My petite Miriam” (my grandma was tiny - just barely 5')and another teased, “You were such a pest this year in class!” She was quick to giggle and seemed to appreciate a certain amount of silliness.


When I think of Grandma and what she means to me, I think of three names, her husbands and loves: Grandpa Duffy, Harvey, Jack. We are all here because Grandma said “yes” to love, and to new adventures – not once, but three times in her life. I am so grateful that she chose to say “yes” each time and strengthen our family in love (and numbers) over the years. That took great bravery. I love our hodge-podge family and am so proud to be a part of it. To be a part of what she built.


In losing Grandma, we lost some of our family glue. That means that now, we all need to work a little harder to stay connected to one another. Maybe it means more phone calls or cards or a family gathering once a year. Whatever each of us can do, we must do it. That is the best way to honor Grandma.

In the last several years of her life, my grandma was cared for by the most wonderful women. There was someone with her - keeping watch while she slept, bathing her, laughing with her, eating with her, playing cards, reading the paper - 24 hours a day. The care she received was professional and compassionate. Almost all of her caregivers attended the service and at least one of them brought her family. They, too, had fallen in love with my grandma. She was so easy to love.

You can read her obituary here, if you are interested.

We're off

Severen and I are traveling this weekend - our first solo plane trip! We are headed to see this lady and her wonderful little family. Easter was not on my radar when I bought our tickets - shoot! I would have loved to do a little easter egg hunt with Severen! Maybe we'll do one at O'Hare during our layover. But only if we have time after eating cracker crumbs off the terminal floor, checking out the hand dryers in the bathroom and letting e-ver-y-one we see who is drinking a coffee know that they have a "CUHHHP!"

Oh and about this photo. I'm not big on putting kids on the laps of strangers, especially when they are dressed in costumes and at the center of the mall. But hey, it's not about me! And so this happened last week. And it was wonderful. Severen and I were at the mall just running around (literally, we run and jump around and go in shops and say "hi" to people - it's a great outing) when we saw the Easter Bunny Habitat. Severen was delighted. He looked at me like, "Holy s*it, Mom! There is a giant bunny over there waving at me. We've got to check this out!" He went right up to him, climbed into his lap, touched his ears and chattered with him. He did not understand why we couldn't hang out with the giant man-bunny all afternoon. I'm sure they will pick up right where they left off, like old friends, next year when we go to see him again.

P.S. My Easter post from 2011 and last year.
P.P.S. Some photos from our last visit to Kansas City to see our friends.

What a difference a year makes

I am looking forward to having Severen with us at the table tomorrow. He was with us last year, too, but in a very different way! He loves to eat (avocado, broccoli, hummus, beans, mozzarella, mango . . . ) and I know he will enjoy the Thanksgiving food we prepare with every ounce of his little body. Lately, he has taken to saying "Ummmmmm!" when something tastes good! What am I looking forward to eating the most? This amazing squash recipe. (Make it make itttt!!) Happy Thanksgiving!

P.S. Here are posts (and pics!) from the Thanksgiving feasts we hosted the past two years.

Babble, babble

I got a bit of good news right about this time last week. I found out that I was selected as one of Babble's Top 50 Etsy Parents! I'm #19 on the list and ranked #2 in the Vintage category. I did about 10 seconds of maaaaajoor fist pumping at my desk and then 2 minutes of good old-fashioned crying. I've considered closing the shop so many times this year. I even have a blog post announcing the shop's last day all drafted and ready to go. But every time I got ready to hit Publish (which was about five times in the last ten months) something held me back. Mostly stubbornness, I think. Anyway, this little recognition is a vote of confidence in the direction of toughing it out and staying in the game. And I'm grateful for that.

I know a lot of moms - not included in this list - who are working hard to raise children full-time and also keep a shop going. I am planning to nominate a few of my favorite mom-run Etsy shops to be considered for next years contest. If you have a favorite, here's how you can throw their hat in the ring.

My grandma's ring

Last week I took my Grandma Velma's high school class ring to Arendsen Jewelers to have it sized. My grandma (the tall lady with glasses in the photo) was born in 1926 and grew up on a farm in Iowa. She was the first person in her family to leave for college when she went to the University of Nebraska in the mid-40s. Her college roommate introduced her to her older brother, Paul - also an Iowan, also the first to leave the family farm for college - and they hit it off. Lucky for me, they both had the courage to leave home and get an education - otherwise I wouldn't be here!

The jeweler at Arendsen's is a gentle-mannered fellow named Mark. He took over for his father and has been in the business for almost 50 years. The shop is on the 16th floor of a building in Downtown Lansing. That day, he had the window open and he was working at his desk when I came in. When I told him about the ring, he asked if I would like to wait while he sized it right away. Of course I said yes. Step by step, I watched as he cut, hammered, melted, filed and polished it to the perfect size. Twice, because the first time the fit wasn't quite right. When I put it on at the end, I surprised myself by almost crying. I've never had a family ring passed on to me and it feels really special. Especially a school ring, since my grandma loved school (she was a teacher) and was so brave to strike out on her own and go to college, especially when her family didn't appreciate or understand her choice.

As I prepared to pay, Mark came around the counter and said "Please put your card away. This one is free." I argued but he wouldn't have it. I was floored by this kind gesture, and my service experience start to finish. It just adds another happy memory to this ring, which I haven't taken off since the moment I put it on.

Real thoughts from a mom-head

Today I'd like to share some random thoughts I've had in the last few weeks. As a collection, they are a pretty good representation of what goes on in my mom-head every day. I invite you to add your own random thought of the day (mom thought or otherwise) in the comments of this post. Happy Friday!

» I feel totally put-together when my toenails are painted. That is time well spent.

» Can I just go to pastry school? All I really want to do is make biscotti. All Day.

» I want to eat Severen's food. It is better than my food. Chicken & apples for lunch?!

» Please God, let me live long enough to watch Severen grow up. That's all I ask.
 
» Coffee makes me a better person.

» I could really free up some time if I wore Depends during the day. Huh.

» Taking a baby swimming, alone, is one of the most complicated things a human being can attempt.

» Should I sell my business? Would anyone want to buy it? Hmmm.

» There should be a naptime game show called, "How many things can you do in 33 minutes?"

» I can't raise my arms above my head anymore. Severen has mangled my shoulders. No biggie.

» Coffee makes me a better person.

» Whole wheat chocolate chip cookies are basically scones. So, basically they are breakfast food.

» Could Severen get stuck in the chimney?

» I don't have time to open bags of food on the little dotted lines = kitchen looks like raccoon carnage.

» If I rub my shoulder & close my eyes, I can pretend that someone else is giving me a massage.

» Gas pumps are the dirtiest, germiest things. Ughhh. Shudder.

» Should our family go as the Bee Gees for Halloween? The answer is "yes."

» How long is my hair now? I am honestly not sure. The only time it is down is the the shower.

» It has been almost 8 months since I birthed a gorgeous boy with a toddler-sized head.

» I can't wait until Severen can drink hot chocolate with me.

Seven months for Severen

Severen is 7 months old now and he has a lot to show for it! He sits and plays with the greatest of ease. He can do a baby version of "plank" pose and I think it is only a matter of time until he figures out how to tuck his knees and start crawling. He loves to eat and enjoys three little meals a day at his weaning table. He says "ba ba ba" and "ma ma ma." He is also an accomplished swimmer and pianist :)

But perhaps the most exciting thing that happened this past month was the appearance of his first two little teeth. I was so proud when they came in, which is silly because that is like being proud of him for having an optic nerve or for growing fingernails. He is a human and humans make teeth . . .  I know, I know. It doesn't mean that he is special in any way. But still, I think he did a pretty awesome job of making those teeth.

For an up close and personal experience with Severen and his teeth - 100% guaranteed to make your day better - please enjoy this home video.

Severen giggles

Here is some video of the lad in action, giggling and having fun yesterday with his Uncle Andy (my brother) and Auntie Annie. He would have liked to do this for at least ten more minutes, but my arms gave out! Hooray for family visits. They are the best.

Nine years ago

Mr. Jean Jean and I celebrated our 9th wedding anniversary yesterday! We got married when we were pretty young - I was twenty-two and Soren was twenty-four. We married two months after I graduated from college, on our college campus by one of our professors.

We didn't have much money or much time to plan (we were engaged for only 6 months), so we accomplished most everything with the help of friends and family. We made our own boutonniers and bouquets at the Minneapolis Farmer's Market the day before the wedding. My mother-in-law tailored and modified my grandmother Velma's 1950s wedding dress for me to wear and also made the bridesmaids dresses. My friend Katrina did my hair and make-up. My Hebrew teacher, who also happens to be a professional violinist, played this waltz for us during the ceremony. We had a homemade, family dinner at the home of Soren's parents instead of a catered meal. Friends provided jazz music and singing at the reception. My sisters-in-laws did the artwork for the programs and made our favors, which were rocks collected on the North Shore of Lake Superior stamped with our names and the date of our wedding.

I loved our wedding. It was a perfect representation of our lives, and the people that we loved, at that time. The best part of the whole day was a part of our ceremony that we did Quaker Meeting style, inviting people to stand up and say something if they wanted to. We didn't know if anyone would speak or, if they did, what they would say. There were a few moments of silence at the beginning but then, one by one, people spoke. What followed was unforgettable. Both our fathers said something, as did Soren's sister. My great-aunt Princetta talked about my grandparents, both gone, and how much they would have enjoyed the wedding and how special it was to see my grandma's dress again. Soren's uncle, poet Roy McBride, recited a poem for us. And Soren's grandma, who is about 5' tall and the mother of ten children, simply asked, "Has anyone told you that this is going to be hard?" and then sat back down.

I was thinking what she said yesterday, during what felt like a really long, really hard day. Soren and I had a big fight in the morning and, stubbornly, stayed mad. Our plans for an anniversary dinner turned into cheese and crackers at 9 PM. I went for a walk by myself. We fell into bed, exhausted by the pace of life. You get the idea. But it is OK. Bad days come with the territory. Happily, they are far outnumbered by good days, especially now that Severen is with us! I am grateful to have such a loving family. I hope we get to spend many, many more years together.

Severen's Family Tree

I ordered this family tree for Severen a couple months ago and I am so pleased with it. It comes from the Evajuliet Atelier, a shop based out of Montreal. I looked around for lots of customizable trees and this was by far the sweetest. Lots of them are sort of cartoony (no thanks). I think that I might put some family photos around the tree so that Severen has faces to put with the names as he grows up. It occurred to me the other day that he won't know who his great-grandparents are, or even his grandpa (my dad), unless I talk about them and make them a part of his life. It feels like a big responsibility to introduce him to his ancestors, but I'm his Momma and that's my job. I hope someday he will tell his kids stories about my mom, my brother . . . maybe me. Don't we all hope to be remembered by the people we love?

Happy Easter!

It seems like just yesterday that I was writing this Easter post about my dad, but it was a year ago! A lot has happened since then, including the arrival of sweet Severen. Although he is too bitty to hunt for chocolate eggs this year, when he does get around to celebrating Easter I hope that he has as much fun as Mr. Jean Jean and I did when we were tots. Actually, it looks like Mr. Jean Jean is having lots more fun than me (just look at that little face!) But my sweater is better, non?

So for all of you who plan to enjoy a plastic egg full of jelly beans or a pink foil-wrapped chocolate egg this weekend, Happy Easter! Tonight also marks the start of Passover, so Chag Pesach Sameach to those celebrating the festival!

Our favorite books right now

     

I will be forever thankful to my friend Jamie for gifting these books to us at my baby shower - All in a Day and "Mama, Is It Summer Yet?" The illustrator is Nikki McClure, who uses an x-acto knife to create the pictures (whoah). Because they are high-contrast, Severen loves them. And the stories are beautiful so I enjoy reading them! The first time I read All in a Day to him, I cried. This line in particular got caught in my throat: Underneath that great big sky the earth is all a-spin. This day will soon be over and it won't come back again. 

Illustration and cover images courtesy of Abram's Books